Unlocking the Power of Connection

Stories are our greatest resource for fostering empathy and connection. They are the very thing that gives us meaning and a sense of purpose in the world.

Imagine this: if I introduced myself with a quick rundown of my life, sharing my roots, struggles, passions, and quirks, would you feel a spark of connection? Could you find echoes of your own journey in mine?

Probably not.

When you meet someone, you don’t just throw your entire life story on their lap. First, you foster connection, then trust follows suit, gradually leading to the moment when you think, “I can relate to them.” It’s the opening of a door, the hopeful possibility of shared understanding.

This is the start of tip #1 to Conquer your fear and share your story.

image by Julia Kadel

1. Pinpoint your Kryptonite

What weakens you to the core as if you were superman or superwoman for that matter? Is there a topic that triggers you so much you can’t move? When I was in 2nd grade I lived in Arizona and went to school at Madison Elementry in Mesa. I didn’t learn like the other kids in my class and I remember my teacher, and the school telling my parents that I struggled in school. But in my mind, I didn’t think I struggled. I still had so much to learn.

But that was the start of the Kryptonite.

Fast forward to moving to Libertyville IL when I was 12. I went to Highland Middle School and the school board told my parents that I had a “learning disability”. “I’m sorry what? A learning disability?” I didn’t have a learning disability, I just learned differently. But for some reason, that enlarged my Kryptonite trigger. From then into High School, I thought; “What in the world am I going to do with my life if I don’t do well in school?”

COSMETOLOGY BABY!!!

That is exactly what saved me. I figured it out!! I am a visual learner. I don’t have a learning disability, I understand better when I can do things hands on, or when I can watch a movie. From there, I picked up photography and absolutely fell in love with it.

Through this recurring trigger, this constant reminder of my unique learning style, I’ve uncovered strategies that aid my learning process and gleaned valuable lessons akin to deciphering my Kryptonite.

Think as far back as you can, when does your Kryptonite invade into your life? Pinpoint when it started, and write it down. Examine various approaches and insights into what you can learn from the metaphorical Kryptonite you carry.

2. Believe and Love Yourself

I know this is easier said than done. You’ve gone through so much, and you may feel like you’ve been spiritually beaten up. But you need to find a way that works for YOU in order to believe and love who you are and where you have come from. Doing this will give you the relief to share your story. I’ve done my research.

I’ve had my share of experiences. If you don’t believe and love yourself first, you will question everyone, including yourself, and struggle to find someone to trust, even if that person is right under your nose. Many people in other articles suggest to find someone you trust first, but if you can’t love and believe in yourself first, it will be hard to trust someone to share your story.

This is where I am going to lead you to my podcast called; “Give yourself a High Five”. In this episode I share my experiences and thoughts about giving yourself a high five and the love you build your yourself. I read about this from Mel Robbins book The High Five Habit. If you haven’t read it! BUY IT AND READ IT!!! This book will change your life.

Once you start loving and believing in yourself, and I mean Truly loving and believing in yourself, you’ll feel it, then the rest of my tips will fall into place.

image by Nik Shuliahin

3. Build Your Armor of Trust

Many of us have had our share of getting beat down over and over again whether it is by loved ones, frineds, people we work with, or live next to. I have experienced this time and time again. I trust the ones I love, and then I lose their trust with words or actions they have said and done.

But I am a forgiving person. I forgive, and then before you know it, the trust has been damaged again. So what did I do? Each of these tips, has powerful benefits and valuable lessons. I am here to share with you what I have tried in hopes it can help you as well.

Here is my tip: Build a spiritual armor around you. I know it may sound crazy, but trust me on this. Remove yourself from the circle of individuals that are hurting you. I know this can be especially hard if it deals with loved ones and or friends, but once you make that step, its as if you can breathe so much easier. You don’t have to constantly be in their circle with phone calls, texts, visits, etc. You don’t need to constantly be in the line of fire. These individuals see you as an easy target. But once you remove yourself from the group, and share your thoughts on what you are doing for yourself, you will feel the chains release from your shoulders. I can’t explain it, but it will happen. Now, this isn’t an overnight fix. I was stuck on the first 3 tips for a couple of months.

Here is a suggestion on what you could to say; ” I love you, but I am on a healing journey for myself and I will not be responding to messages for a bit.” You will get some that respect you and some that will give you a sarcastic; “Good luck”remark. I’m here to remind you, to let go. You don’t need their approval. Don’t say, “I’m sorry”, because then you’re apologizing to yourself for healing and giving yourself space. The ones that constantly say; “I’m sorry” are people pleasers. Trust me, I was one of them for more than a decade. It sucked the life out of me.

By giving your statement to others, you are taking a stand.

God reminds us in the Book of Mormon in 3 Nephi 12:44 “But behold I say unto you, love your ^aenemies, bless them that curse you, do ^bgood to them that hate you, and ^cpray for them who despitefully use you and persecute you..” THIS IS SO HARD FOR ME TO DO. Once you have built your spiritual armor of trust, you can let go of the frustrations in what some people do to you. Praying for those that despitefully use you becomes easier and brings you peace.

It’s as if the pasin doesn’t affect you as much any more. The ones that kept bringing you pain become frustrated deep down inside because they now have to find a new target to make them feel good. Your armor of trust shields you from the pain and deceit these people constantly have placed in your life. But you don’t need to receive it amymore. You now have your armor.

Yes, I am secretly preparing you to become Wonder Woman! (( I mean who doesn’t want to be a bad A like Gal Gadot?))

image by Markus Winkler

4. Find Your Message

We all have a story and or a message for others. But this can not be shared unless we accomplish tips 1-3. Once you find your kryptonite and learn the lesson(s) it is teaching you, believe and love yourself, and build your armor of trust, you get the sense of relief and want everyone to hear what you have to say.

Others words have no affect on you. Negative words are signs of jealousy, envy, hate, and disgust. People are going to say it, but you have the power to delete it. You can either let it affect you, or brush over you. I have had so many experiences to share, but my message and purpose is to build women’s self worth inside and out. Remember, Actions speak louder than words. Keep giving yourself a high five in the mirror. If you have a bad day, put your hand over your heart and tell yourself; ” I am loved” ” Its ok, Im doing my best,” “Today I’m going to take a break, and start again tomorrow.”

SHARE YOUR MESSAGE!!! Write that book, create that podcast, write that blog, build that dream; and you will be shocked at whom you will impact.

image by JD

5. Take Action!!!

You found your message!!! CONGRATUALTIONS!!

You should be proud. It has taken a lot of work and action to come thus far. Your message won’t be shared all on it’s own, you need to make the first step, step into that rink, be scared, mess up, and see what happens. Remember, we won’t know if it will work unless we TRY!!!

“If you first don’t succeed. Try, Try Again. ” Don’t give up. It will happen, but you need to make the first step by taking ACTION!!!

I want to give you a big hug for trying, a big hug for progressing, and a big hug for accomplishing where you have come from. I have had my share of tears, pain, hurt, frustrations, and anger. And yet, in the end, It is my choice to decide what I do, and who I will become. You can do this!! I believe in you.

I’m not sure if you recognized this, but I created 5 tips. When you open your hand, you are creating the start of a High Five. Give yourself a High Five on the mirror, give your heart a High Five by placing your hand on your heart, and then take both hands and give yourself a hug for taking action with all that you have accomplished. ( it’s ok, nobody is watching, give yourself a hug in the bathroom where no one can see you)

Hugs to you my friend!! You’ve got this and don’t forget to check out my podcasts as well!!!

Cheers-

Britney